Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A Day in the Life of the Easily Distracted...

  • I have a box full of gifts that I have never gotten around to mailing to my little nephew, Jack. These are gifts that started with Christmas and kind of grew from there. They have been piling up on my kitchen counter for months. After several failed attempts to make it to Virginia and hand deliver the presents, I decided to mail my tokens of love and affection. I want my Jackie-Bear to have his presents before he becomes an adult... somehow I don't think he will appreciate his Sponge Bob Hippity Hop Ball as much when he is 23 years old. I'm not sure what happened next, but I do know one thing: the gifts were sitting on the counter weeks later. The box? Nowhere to be found.
  • I finally found a box and stacked all the gifts in it. Again, a couple more weeks have come and gone. The box and the gifts are still here. They mock me from my kitchen table.
  • Today is the day. I decided to include a note to my brother with the gifts explaining how much I suck and that I am sorry for not visiting more often this year. I just can't seem to get it together.
  • I sat down at the computer to write the letter and started checking emails. I am the editor extraordinaire of my HOA's newsletter and there was a request to include some additional information before sending the final draft.
  • The quick two minute edit took a couple hours. I started digging through the internet for some clip art to compliment the new information. Its impossible to find the perfect graphic and everything has to be completely reworked in Photoshop... so says the addict. 
  • I plug in the new clip art and add the requested content.

  • The edit completely throws off the forces of nature and I quickly decide the entire newsletter format needs to be tweaked so that the powers that be will once again be happy.
  •  I saved the final draft and got ready to send it via email to the property management company. I double-clicked on my email icon to attach newsletter and ship it off, but got sidetracked by an email from my buddy and roommate, Michael.
  • Saint Michael. He parties like a rock star, always has a ton of women surrounding him in these crazy bar pictures where he is dancing on tables and grinning like a Cheshire cat. He uploads thousands of pictures a week of all these wild parties. Women call him at all hours of the day and night. I hear Michael on the phone in his room crooning to them, "I love you baby..." But Michael insists they are all just good friends and he is not romantically involved with any of them. I started calling him Saint Michael.
  • So I had this idea!! OMG- that is my next blog. Saint Michael! I pop on his Facebook account and start saving pics to file and working on the content in my head. I grab a picture of Michael with two Hooter girls, another pic has him going low on some chick in a dancing cage and finally one with Saint Mike in a conga line of about 10 women dressed to the hilt...
  • Did I mention that Michael has had about 5 back surgeries? hahahaha  His doctors are ready to string him up. Nothing stops him.
  • I have been working on the blog for a while and decide to head to the kitchen to grab a drink. I'm like- wow. That damn box is still sitting on the table!!!  Darn. I totally spaced on my mission of the day. Maybe the gifts should be individually wrapped? It's the least I could do for my Jackie-Bear since he has had to wait so long...
  • Like a bunny, I race up the stairs to grab the wrapping paper and dash back downstairs. I am on a mission!
  • I have tape on my desk, but need scissors. Shoot. They are in the dishwasher. (Um, no the dishes aren't clean- I forgot to start it after last night's fried chicken dinner.) I used the scissors to trim chicken fat. ewww. I don't even want to touch them. They are all icky with day old chicken goo.
  • I walk to sink to wash the scissors, but there is a lot of stuff stacked up in there dirty. Maybe if I reorganize the stuff in the dishwasher, I can make more room and fit them all in.
  • After cleaning out the sink and starting the dishwasher, I notice a stack of cooking magazines on the counter. Man- I need to figure out something for dinner. Maybe I can find a recipe real fast...
  • I see this kick-ass food thermometer that Cooks Illustrated has rated as the absolute best of the best. It is soooo much what I need to be a better cook. I decide to check out the pricing on the internet... shoot!! My email pops up after the screen saver clicks off. I need to send the newsletter! I totally spaced on that. AHHHHHH
  • And now? Well, I finally emailed the newsletter but Jimboo reminded me that he has to pee and doesn't know how to sit on the toilet yet. He doesn't know how to open the front door either. However, he does know how to dress! Jimboo- you look sharp!!

  • While I am walking my little man, I have another brilliant idea for my blog... A Day in the Life of the Easily Distracted!! And you know what? It's 10:00 pm and that damn box of gifts is still sitting on the kitchen table and off hand... I'm not exactly sure what I did with the scissors. Instead of doing anything worth a poot in the wind, I'm writing this blog and thinking about what kind of goofy picture I can come up with to go with it.
  • Round and round and round she goes... where she stops, nobody knows. (AKA: another day shot to hell.)

And now ladies and gentlemen, its time to brazenly promote my new pet project!

Whether you're looking for nursing home attorneys in SC, worker's compensation lawyers in Horry County or car accident attorneys in SC, our latest website is an excellent resource to help you find the assistance you need.

Visit Attorneys-SC and check out our page on how to find a good lawyer. This website is still in the works, so be on the lookout for new medical malpractice pages, personal injury information and a directory of South Carolina Lawyers.


  1. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this blog, Melissa! :)


  3. You are amazing. Both your writing ability and your life...haha.