Thursday, May 20, 2010

High on my list of priorities... staying out of a mental ward.

This has nothing to do with the beach or the good life and I don't give a hootie patootie. This blog is a rant and not about anything happy so stop reading if you were hoping I was going to spread some joy... Yep. My inner child is pissed off again!

My friend just lost her dad. He struggled with addiction much like my mom. She commented how sad it was that he only had a few possessions left for her to go through- his girlfriend took off with the few meager belongings he had to his name and the only things left for her were a couple of shirts and some pants that the nursing home gave him. There is a good chance that her dad's girlfriend isn't even aware that he passed away. I didn't ask Cindy, but I'm guessing that her dad's girlfriend is a struggling addict too.

The whole situation has ticked me off and brought up some feelings I thought were long packed away and now I am up at 3:45am on a manic rip. I always felt angry about my mom and why things were so damned hard for her. Why couldn't she just have that little tiny house with the white picket fence that she wanted so damn bad?

Was that just too much to ask for? It sucks and makes you question what we are doing here? What's the whole purpose? Why is life so good to some people while it hands others nothing but crap?

Don't come back preaching how it's all about the choices we make. ANY ONE OF US COULD HAVE GONE DOWN A SHITTY ROAD. The wrong best friend, the wrong boy friend, the wrong things available during a time of crisis.

There but for the grace of God go I. There but for the grace of God go I.

My mantra.

It's the only reason any one of us aren't out on the streets smoking crack and shooting heroin. Don't pat yourself on the back or think you're special just because you didn't struggle like my mom or like Cindy's dad. We just got lucky, I guess.

Speaking of God, I was just cussing him out today. (And I am not joking. I have a strange relationship with him since my parents died. I am still pretty ticked off and hopefully he understands and will forgive me for screaming at him in my darker moments.)

Anyhoo- I'm not gonna lie. It's been a hell of a ride with Dave's kids lately and I have to wonder how God could take away my wonderful family who loved and cared about me so much- and replace them with selfish, ignorant, creepy little boys (one of which continues to pick his nose at age 24, another who doesn't think shampoo is necessary and the other who thinks he is a brilliant prodigy because he knows how to use dental floss.)

Mr. Dental Floss sat down Monday night and told David that he was here to take all he could get from us and was not staying in our house to contribute in any way. This is how he justifies not taking out the trash, leaving dirty dishes, and not even putting a dime towards the gas in the car Dave let's him drive.

He honest to God, actually said, "Dad, I'm not here to contribute..."
This is the kid who is sleeping in my 600 thread-count sheets, raiding my closet for the Calvin Klein towels, gobbling down $30 a bottle vitamins that I bought by the handful and eating a half gallon of Breyer's premium ice-cream in one sitting. Every bit of toilet paper that has wiped his little white hiney in the last 6 months has been purchased by me (probably with a coupon!) The sense of entitlement makes me want to vomit and I want to pummel him.

John McEnroe help me out here!!!

(Thanks John.)

Did the kid really just say that?!
I am still frothing at the mouth- I swear I am.

Right now I am like a rabid dog and Dave has to keep pulling me away because I am pissed off like Cujo. If it were me- Mr. Fancy pants would be riding a bike from this point forward and sharing a bowl of kibble with Jimboo. Oh, who am I kidding?? My little pooh-berry Jimboo doesn't eat kibble...

He looks at it, rolls his eyes and waits patiently for me to share my Filet Mignon with him. But the kid? Yeah- I'd be feeding him Jimboo rejects.

For now- I feel better just getting this off my chest. In fact, I am thinking about blocking all the kids from my facebook account so I can bitch about them more often... OH WHATEVERRRRRR!!! That would only enable them to continue being little creeps.

I need to get them out of whatever crazy land of denial they have been living in. I will be the guiding light... it's my new mission. Come on boys, Melissa is going to show you the way to the promise land!! Thou shalt honor thy father... Follow me!!

(I freaking love this pic and will use it every chance I get!)

Back on subject. Dave is such an amazing guy-- are these kids seriously cut from the same cloth? Do they have brain damage? Is this just a phase? Was I a huge asshole too at age 20 and have just forgotten?? Help me understand!!!

ok. I'm done with my rip now. Now I can go and sleep like a baby.    sigh.

Anyhoo- no matter what- I have to keep my eye on the golden ring, which is building a little empire of high ranking websites and not letting these kids push me completely over the edge before I take over the world. Staying out of a mental ward is high on my list of priorities right now...

Onward with the shameless self-promotion!

The newest site is Attorneys-SC. This website is going to eventually have a directory of SC lawyers that will include divorce lawyers in SC, car accident attorneys in SC and any other type of lawyer someone in South Carolina might need.

The directory of SC attorneys is a work in progress! I built the template for the site, edited the photos, created the background tile (which I think is horribly horribly cool!!) and wrote the content.

My buddy, Jan Chilton, is my Myrtle Beach SEO extraordinaire and works tirelessly behind the scenes to get our sites ranking in Google, Yahoo, Bing, etc. It's no easy job, but she's a champ and we have no fear.

Pop onto the new Attorneys-SC website and have a look around. Oooh and Ahhh a little. We like the colors and think it's sleek and sophisticated. Now if I could just get myself to start working on that darn directory of SC lawyers!!! It's the easy part, which makes it no fun at all to work on.

Thanks for letting me vent.


  1. All I can say is wow.

    And to gently (or not) remind you one more time that those boys are NOT boys, nor are they kids. They are men, however immature and selfish they are. If they were treated like men, they might learn eventually. (I don't know how you didn't kill Mr. Dental Floss)

  2. PS, I pretty much agree with you about the God thing, too. That's the problem with the concept that He interferes in our affairs. If you believe that he helps out personally, then you have to accept that he also shits on people. It's a whole lot easier to accept that he stays out of this world and waits for us to join him in his.

  3. It's hard to think of the any of them as men, especially the one who can't keep his finger out of his nose...

  4. There is the Melissa I know and love! People always say how lucky we are that we turned out okay, not like our parents with addictions. If only they knew how okay we are not. Maybe, we didn't follow in their footsteps and drink or drug our life away, but we are definitely screwed up in our own little ways. Some obvious, some least not to everyone. Everybody makes bad choices at times in their lives, some just last longer than others. But you and I are still standing, so at some point we did something right. As far as the boys go, I think you and Dave should just leave for a few days, and not tell them where you are going. Don't leave any money for gas.. just a bottle of shampoo and some Kleenex. Even if they don't get the message, at least you still got away from the kids for a few days. LOL